well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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