I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
