capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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