their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Who died my cat blue again?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
