Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
