My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
