I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
