im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
