I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
