wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
