Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
