If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
