Can Purell be used as lube?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
no you cant smoke seaweed
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
