Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
