I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
