you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
