Having a random hookup so left but love u
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
