i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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