carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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