And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
