About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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