so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
