yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Randomize
