Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
