Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
