Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
