my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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