it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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