Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
