How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
