i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Actions speak louder than pants.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Randomize
