Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
this just has baby written all over it
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
