Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my sisters under your porch take her home
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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