my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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