just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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