I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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