well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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