I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
