I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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