Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
