I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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