I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
