He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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