Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
