After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
