put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
