That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
