Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
only if we run a train.
done.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
