no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize