worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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